| Its my Birthday |
[Apr. 18th, 2008|07:36 pm] |
Just marking this;
Went to dinner at the Berg with Tammy, Kayla, Brittany, Kelly, Blake, and Ryan; then went to coldstone |
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| Inspired by A Walk To Remember; My list.. |
[Mar. 8th, 2008|02:01 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Settlin' Sugarland | ] |
- cross the great ocean
- learn how to play an instrument (piano, violin, or cello)
- take a hot air balloon ride
- help someone in need
- throw my inhibitions to the wind and just be in the moment
- have a great love, the kind that leaves you forever changed
- have a one night stand with a dashing stranger in a foreign country
- conquer my dream (whatever it may turn out to be)
- Find myself
- have few regrets when it comes to things I 'wish I would have done'
-Travel The World by seeing;
~ Italy, Greece, France, England, Ireland, Scotland, Australia, Egypt, Chile, All 50 States, The Galapagos Islands, Easter Island, The ruins in various parts of Central America, Great Wall of China, Japan, Beijing, Hong Kong
- have a kid
- make a great piece of Art
- spend at least a year abroad |
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| Music.. |
[Mar. 7th, 2008|09:16 pm] |
I can hear someone playing a flute (or some form of a wind instrument) and it makes me envious. The sound is so pretty. I wish I knew how to play an instrument. I'm tone deaf and.. uh.. hated music class when I was little because I was so bad at it. But I am adding it to the of things I would like to learn before I die.
+ learn how to play an instrument.
I just need to decide which instrument. My choices:
- guitar
- piano
- violin
I like the sound of all three. I guess when I decided which one I can learn =P |
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| Elation to Deflation. |
[Mar. 6th, 2008|09:38 pm] |
Are we destined to walk this earth torn by turmoil and discontent? The 'lucky' ones find that happiness we all seek but it is brief and makes me wonder if it is worse to have lived in heaven and fallen from grace than to be unaware of its existence at all. So the question remains; is it better to have loved and loss then to have never loved at all?
Some of the greatest characters known to fiction have shown us what its like to have loved and lost. The prime example being, of course, Romeo & Juliet. In this case, was it better that they loved when they so clearly lost? Or was the love worth the cost? If Romeo & Juliet had lived would they be happy or would they be like the other discontent and have picked at what they had leaving them barren?
In truth happiness is short lived. One minute we're flying high and the next we've crashed on the deserted island and are reduced to Wilson as our only friend. Elation to deflation.
Perhaps I am only a bitter being expressing my own malcontent. |
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| I know what I want from life... |
[Mar. 6th, 2008|09:12 pm] |
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I want a great story. I want to be remembered in the pages of time. I don't know what I'm going to do to accomplish this but I want to have a story worth envying. I demand tons of google pages when someone types in my name. |
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| Thoughts... |
[Mar. 4th, 2008|04:05 pm] |
People hook up all the time. I see it everyday, every party, and yet I don’t understand.
I feel hallow inside when I go out with someone and then I think, “Am I just weird? Others do it so freely; what’s wrong with me?”
I see girls who take it so lightly and I can’t. Being with someone is not a casual thing to me. It’s not like wearing a pair of shoes for the night. I’d rather be alone than forced to pretend I like someone just for the sake of liking someone.
Yet I am suck with the pressure to find someone. I have the rest of my life to find that someone but I feel like I am getting left behind as I see couples walking hand in hand.
Even the strangest of people seem to have found someone. And then there is me. Dear dear old me… alone… like always.
I feel like I am waiting for ... SOMETHING… I don’t know what; some man to walk through my life and I just know. Love at first sight. I get swept off my feet and then that whole happy ever after bit. …Or not… I don’t want love at first sight that’s just stupid and I don’t believe in it.
But I refuse to think its just me, now and forever, till death.. What a sad and lonely life. I can’t think that it’s okay to be alone because I’d be lying to myself but I’ll be damned if I just accept some half-ass excuse of a romantic tale.
I want to love and be loved. I want some knock off fairy tale. I don’t expect to be saved or him to come on some horse. I don’t expect perfection in fact I like faults they make a person. I don’t want someone who’ll do as I say all the time. Though it’s annoying to have someone not do what you want, I like the fight. I like the fire. I want someone whose smart enough to give me witty repartee. I want someone who’ll challenge me. But I don’t want someone who’ll not listen to me and never give back in the relationship. I already do a lot for my friends; I want someone who doesn’t want to take advantage of my good will. I’m so afraid of that. I think one of my biggest fears is that I’ll be cheated on. I don’t know why, but it is.
I’m keeping what little faith I have in love alive. I feel as if I am in a giant room of darkness equipped with nothing but a small candle. The elements keep trying to snuff my candle out but I will keep it burning for I refuse to give up the light and live in utter darkness. |
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| I was inspired by a friend to write... |
[Mar. 4th, 2008|03:29 pm] |
I feel like I am drowning in my own insecurities. It is as if the undercurrent is too strong and I, too weak.
I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I feel lost. It is as if I’ve entered a maze and everything is the same no matter where I turn. I can’t get out for the walls are too tall. I can’t find my way because the paths are all the same.
It appears as if I will never find the exit.
I once dreamed of becoming a writer. I wanted to be the kind of writer that enchants the reader, makes them surrounded by the characters, and drops them in the setting so much so they can smell the smells and see the vivid colors. I wanted to engage them. I wanted to leave the reader so enraptured with the story that it became a part of them.
I lost that somewhere. Somewhere in the criticism I lost that dream and a new one was born. I don’t anymore if the dream risen from the ashes of the dying one was just created to fill the void.
I began to dream of working in the F.B.I or the C.I.A or just a detective. I wanted to help people. I still want to help people but now it is different.
I am trying to let go, to free-fall, because I have never allowed myself to do so in the past.
I am trying to breathe.
I am trying to enjoy.
I am trying to let go of the fact that I can’t save the world.
I am trying to let go of the fact that I can’t help everyone.
But mostly, I’m trying to live. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 1st, 2006|04:42 pm] |
I do believe God has a purpose for each one of us. Whether we follow our call or walk a path of indifference is our call. Unfortunately we are our own demise and God just sits and watches us as we blindly stumble over the edge of a cliff ...Cliff after cliff we fall… …And if he ever shakes his head... we never know.
We are left to fend for ourselves. Here were faith is slim and hope is in decay. Here with wars and disease. Here on a planet we cannot escape. Here on earth.
We are sitting in an airport, waiting for our plane. With so many planes taking off our face is lost in the crowd. A face like so many other faces passing by. No one even looks up, so busy getting to their next designation. So many people you don’t know and will never know. So many you could reach out to, but don’t. If life is the airport, will you be one of those lost in the crowd? |
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| hola |
[Mar. 4th, 2006|04:15 pm] |
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sally give me the link!!!!!!!1 |
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